Buttons

February 8, 2010 at 4:52 pm Leave a comment

(This post was originally written on 7 Jan 2010 and published on Facebook. I’m happy to report that the buttons were successfully secured and attached. ~EM)

Hanging CoatI completed a silly Dr. Phil quiz on Facebook a while ago.  One of the questions was: what do you dream about? I answered “searching for something/someone.”

Earlier, I did the “what 80s song are you?” and it came up I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.

Then, last night, I had a dream about searching for a button for a coat I own.

Are you sensing a trend? Me too.

The buttonless coat is years old and represents a very specific time in my life–another time, as now, when I was making some big changes. Because it has no buttons left on it, I have to use one hand to clutch the two sides of the coat together. Because it’s the warmest coat I own, I tend to wear it in the coldest weather (like now) for dog walking and so on, so this means the clutching-to-stay-warm manoeuvre is absolutely critical, and even more awkward. It leaves me but one hand to pick up dog poop, at which I’ve become quite agile, but it also means that I struggle (unnecessarily) to keep myself warm while doing so. When I forget gloves, the situation becomes even more desperate and uncomfortable. I love the coat, and it would be the warmest, most comfortable coat I own, if only I could get my act together to find the right buttons and sew them on. If only I could make one small but important change, a lot of other problems would go away.

The dream was so vivid that when I saw that coat this morning, I said to myself: “now, where did I put those buttons?” intent on finally sewing the buttons on my coat.

Obviously, the dream is highly symbolic for me, especially at this point in my life as I start to reclaim and reassert my own needs for the first time in a long time. So, while wearing the coat and clutching the sides and picking up dog poop this morning — and vowing to buy those damn buttons TONIGHT!! — I started thinking about what I am searching for, and what kinds of things we ALL search for: buttons or transformation? A missing glove or missing love?

Question: what are YOU searching for?

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Entry filed under: Personal Musings.

An Uncommon Cat Where You Lead, I Will Follow

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